“without suffering there would be no compassion”

The pain that I feel is indescribable

Life time friendships ruined in a matter of a night

I don’t even know if I am strong enough for this fight

This agony of my life falling apart in the palms of my hands

Once again by a man.

But not just anyone. My other half

My heart, my soul

I guess years of dedication are no longer symbolistic

My life at arm’s reach but not even being able to hold on

How many tears do I need to cry?

To prove my loyalty

I believe my scars have left enough symbolic memories of my life.

I’m beginning to lose who I am

Questioning if god still loves me and if love is there why he has allowed hell into my life

This no longer has anything to do with my pride..

Because pride makes the heart hard and from the womb my hearts always been soft.

Can’t change who I am for the comfort of your pleasure.

Try playing the victim because you have begun to murder your own heart.

Taking down walls that should of never been built.

My hands begin to bleed trying to climb these walls.

Can’t hide behind my smiles and pretend that I still don’t bleed.

Your mark is so deep that I no longer no where to begin to cleanse this wound.

You have taken everything that I have created and let her in. ‘

Prancing around like some kind of goddess as she rests her head where

My scent use to lie. Doing all the things that we planned with her

But really lying to yourself wishing her. Was me

Do I still haunt you in your sleep because you have stayed in my dreams

I try to hide behind my laughs and smiles like everything is ok.

When all I have are ache’s from silent screams, damped pillows from these endless dreams.

I still feel your hands across my body as I lay at night

And the sensational feeling of you rubbing your fingers through my hair to help me sleep at night.

Well I may have not slept so well but I did sleep

My eyes are burning from watching every sunrise to sunset

Wondering when I will ever sleep again.

I have destroyed everything that reminds me of my pain

But the memories still know their way back home.

My eyes begin to chase stars hoping that fairy tales still can come true.

But how can there be a fairy tale without you?

I was not perfect but I have served my sentence

No longer guilty because I have proven my innocence.

My words have become the bars and you have been locked inside of me

Trying to get the strength to find the key and set you free.

If I could go back. Back to the days when love didn’t hurt so much

When crying only came from laughing

When I love you made your heart sink.

Because that was love. Our love.

And if I close my eyes I can still see you and me

Even through all the pain and suffering

I still stand strong waiting for you to take me by your side

For you to protect my pride, show me loyalty.

Because there’s no real you without me.

one day you will begin too see.

La cicatrisation des plaies

You have become my enemy.
Where we stand at battle lines
Drawing out our weapons.
Air has stopped filling my lungs
for now I am empty.
The heat from the line of words
is becoming to heavy
I no longer have any words to
speak.
Now my notebook reeks of our blood
Stains that cannot be washed
Fighting for justice from being Humilulated in front of friends.
Friends that now stand behind my enemy lines.
Forming your army filled with
lies and promises that were broken.
You forgot all our words ever spoken.
Now I am a foreigner to you
a stranger you no longer recognize
because you have learned to hide behind your lies and now
it’s the loyalty in which you
deprive.
Ive taken the letters and
shredded them into paper like
pieces and burn them straight to hell.
And I’m a little bit “crazy” in your words if you can’t tell
But in my words it’s not called crazy it’s called love…
Or being unloved.
I am done
Found me a new weapon so I put away my gun
If it’s victory you search for then you have won.
Flight is freedom
But my wings have not left the ground
This war has cause me to be mentally bound.
I now have new battle wounds to show that this fight was real
It’s not just my heart that needs to be healed
I have friends that always question my motive
Wondering why I never spoke out. And only wrote it
I should of known I was wrong singing my friends the same sad old song
I never took the time to listen
Because you were all in my ear saying it was none of their business
Now I have all these photographic memories
Thanking god if finally hit me.
Digging up all these deep rooted issues
Looking in my mirror screaming “I finally missed you”
You might have an idea but you don’t know what the fuck I’ve been through.

Brittnicole-

Dear Friend.

You came to me unbidden, unwoven you Looked to me for comfort. My hand stretched but, not knowing the conditions of saving you. You came to me with tears and sorrows looking for mywords so you could make it to tomorrow. You gave me this knotted heart as if I was a seamstressable to untangle your heartaches, untangle your life which was a mess. A mess I was willing to clean up. You made me swear under oath that I would never leave you, that I would commit myself to always be your friend. I took that promise and sealed it with sweet kisses knowing I would never let you down. I stood through your pain and raised you from the dead when you had been sucked out of life.

My friend,

I sit here thinking of these photographic memories of you not there. I didn’t know my love could push you so afar, I didn’t know my compassion could make your voice mute.

My friend,

You have drifted so far I can no longer see you. I brought you a light but, you hide in the dark.

Dear friend,

I’m sorry for caring too much, I’m sorry for you loving my heart, that you would make you think I would leave. My friend I’m sorry because maybe my sorry’s will show you how I’ve needed you and you were no were to be found. My sleepless nights, MY pain, MY sorrow… why didn’t you answer me when you heard my screams! You came to me when you were in need and never once did you hear my plea!

My friend…. How could you do this to me?

Fanatic Socialist

Ok sooo I love your blog, your flickr, your twitter. And even though I don’t go on much I love your fb & and myspace. I’ve fell in love with your words keyed in on your keyboard. When you update my heart races waiting for more. I am in love with your pictures snap shot memories that will forever be embraced by me. I love the way you format your page and make it look all artsy and shit. I love being in love with your artistic ways. And even though my thoughts have a mental spasm trying to figure out what your updates mean I believe I’m becoming a Fein for your social networks. And if I was ever cut off from my frenzies of scrolling through these pages I just might go insane, and I have all your social networks to blame.

Love, your fanatic socialist

unbelievable.

somethings will remain permanent.

forever apart of me.