Saturday, December 19, 2009

Crying Plea.

My dad is cruel.
making me feel as if i dont belong.
What happened to the happy little girl
in the picture with her dad?
now all i have is photographic memories of your love.
a pretty little snap shot of how much you USE to love me.
Daddy's little angel.
your princess.
Will you not hug and kiss me as if i was five again?
Just in a matter of three years it took you to despise me.
Since Ive found my own voice,
you no longer want to hear my words.
Dad i have dreams that you have no knowledge of.
i have lost love that you never warned me about.
It is you i blame! - For not keeping my heart protected.
It is you i balme! - For all these fallen tears.
I blame you dad...
for not warning me of these heartbreaks that i have encountered.
How can i expect him to love me when you do not?
I want to be loved.
Love me
Love me
The only way i can say this is through poetic misery.
this is the way, My way
i want to say something to you.
when i leave dont forget the beautiful vibrations of my voice.
send me a note from time to time
Please dad
dont forget me.
I was the first to cry in your arms and, the last to feel your love.
Where'd I do wrong?
Is the color of my skin not right?
is it because my mother is black and theirs is white?
is it my uniqueness that crawls under your skin?
can i fall into your arms again...
will you accept my plea?
How will i ever learn how to love a man dad?
will you take time to teach me?
These drive by, counterfeit love from these men
have been more than you have given me in twenty years.

Dad i still am the same little girl in the photograph.
its ok to make me happy.
its ok to call me "daddys little girl"
I still am that same girl ive just grown up.
But its ok to love me.
love me dad.



Just love me.



Sunday, December 13, 2009

La'Niiyah Marie Johnson

my niece La'Niiyah Marie Johnson was born on december 11, 2009
she was 5lbs7.5oz

so my sister finally had her baby!
i know she was itttybitty
i cant wait to go home in 5 days to see her and everyone else
i can say that i have become so much happier by
letting go of the past,
living in the present,
& looking into the future.
have so many people who love and care about me and that i love and care about as well.
i probably will be taking off some of my post on this site. because they no longer need to be up.
not that the past hasnt help me be who i am today but i dont think i need a daily reminder. but i will be posting more of my work up i just havnt had too much time. =) well i hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and i hope your new years will be as good as mine ;)