Friday, December 19, 2008

Weekends...

The weekends are suppose to be your time off.
time to relax.
go out.
have fun.
whatever.
why is that almost every weekend of my life consist of
complication.
it always happens i swear for the couple of months since like
may.

OK Friday nights.
Friday nights are more of my chill nights
reason being i just worked a full week
40 hrs.
and I'm tired and would rather stay in and watch a movie
or just kick back with friends.
pretty simple right.

Wrong.

most of my Friday nights consist of wondering what the hell everyone is going to do.
its always some club. (which i don't want to go to because I'm tired)
no one knows what their doing til about 12:30
or all my girls chillin' with they dudes and I'm just like left out
ughhh.......

OK Saturday night.

OK Saturdays are a little better.
other than the fact.
Tiana is at work so i cant chill with her
Camille is all boo'd up
and anything that i do want to do during the day....

dun duh dun duhhhh..... waallaaa...
it doesn't happen.
now towards the sunset I'm completely ready to go out
these are mainly the club/party nights.
now this is the problem.
we(us girls)
will get all ready to go out lookin bomb. (as usual)
and either before,or during this so called
("poppin party")
there is always a fight and the shit gets shut down.
so basically we wasted a
outfit.
time.
and F-n'
10 bills.
o yah lets not forget about gas!
(because of course everything is always far)

Sunday's

OK now by this time I'm completely over the weekends. i recap on how lame the F-n' weekend was
and i usually end up buying my self something from

Forever21

this makes me feel a tad. bit better.
it just seems i have more excitement on the weekdays going to work and
arguing with ppl all day then i do on the weekends.
and Sunday nights are pretty much out why.?
I'm independent and have a job to be at in the morning.
uh.
I'm so frustrated right now
and no one has yet to make my night.










hopefully my weekends will get better.











out.



update*** grey's fam always makes my night so scratch that








Sunday, December 14, 2008

Addicted


OK im entirely too sore. i cant explain how bad it hurts.
legs
arms
everything.
So alot happened this weekend.. well Friday went over my lil bros
Echo's
house ... we had so much fun deff. saw the bestie drunk for the first time.

haha

got to see Greyson...DEFF made the night.
;)
anywho...
Saturday i went to my jobs Christmas party and it was actually fun omg. lol
me n heather went to echos again.
Got there and there was so many white ppl ..(and of course beer pong)
snowbunnies.

lol overall good night.....
.........................................................................................................................................................................
now when i look at you and you look at me...
and nothing is said ....
for almost a breath of a second.
i feel like we can have
dawn n Q love...
Beyonce and Jay-z love


im just trying to figure out when we going to make our own love.
you say you love me but why do i only have 75% of your heart?

When i love
and you love
we love.


our love is like

rain on a sunny day.

like waking up to a cloudy morning.

so what else is there for me to do but sit and think.
Think about how happy we could be.
how in the morning you would wake up and just smile
because you know that i love you
and that im there.
you would smile knowing we still laugh at the little things no one else
understands.
...........
my heart feels like it skips a beat
when those three letter words come from you.
it means something to me.
i try to figure out whats going to happen next.

..well i know this...

YOU MAKE ME SMILE.

the sensational feeling you give to me is undiscribable

your like a drug....


and ive be come addicted.


ilayu





Tuesday, December 2, 2008

no gym tonight=loved




love notes..


today no gym


loved.


she's his wifey...
loved.

who from whoville.
time for bed.

just a lil baby.
yes today i had a pretty good day






Monday, December 1, 2008

back.

i dont understand
its like one minute yur happy
the next yur not
one min yu love
the next its as if yu dont care.
***i go through this shit all the time. its like when its convenient for everyone else to have me around or talk to me then cool...right?!?!***
lets see my weekend yah ups n downs over all it was pretty good. like really good. now its Tuesday n i feel like i have had just the worst week ever. dont really have anyone to talk to at this point that would understand. the ones that i would talk to are hush mouth! and im tired of everyone having me there to talk to but its not returned.


breath.

and to top it off i have homework.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

silence...

Tonight...
my heart is still...
my mind is congested
my breaths are short...
n my sight is blurred.
i dont know what to think
or what to say...
im blank.
something that doesn't happen too often.
i feel myself wanting to back up from everyone at this point.
maybe im just tired
maybe im stressed.
maybe im hurt.
no it cant be.
no tears fall.. so what does that mean?
does it mean my heart is cold.
or are my tears in drought.
why am i so afraid when the answers are right in front of me...
my sight that is impaired by
love?
lies??
hate??
disappointment.....???

then i realize i just disappointed myself.

what a shame.

such a beautiful,strong(weak),
mind...

wasted.

on everything for nothing.

im tired. so im out.

Tonight i am silent


"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today."



Sunday, October 26, 2008

Omg Asparagus!!


..........................................................
Camille And Brittany -In ikia-
Brittany: I cant wait to move in our new place
Camille: Yah i know we are gonna have a bomb ass apartment
Brittany:(walking to the plant area) (looks over at bamboo plant)
Camille:(runs over to BAMBOO plant) says: O MY GOD ASPARAGUS!
Brittany:omg camille thats a bamboo plant(weak. laughing so hard almost in tears)
Blondes.=)

Friday, October 17, 2008

Unappealing Eye?

yu make me despise
the way yu are.
how yu act.
how yu feel.
yur thinking ability
is equal to a child
a child that is not ready
to grow up.
but yet i got close..
caught up in this fairy tale
fantasy.
A fantasy thats merely
only a dream.
a simple..wish,
a hope
that yur
incompetent feelings
will help my inability to understand
how yu think.
easy for yu to just call another
girl,
and hard for me..

to let go.

me wondering if yur words
are only in my ears..
i make excuses to
not be mad at yu

but how could i not?

when yu cant be
real..
wit me
the truth in my words
are not compatible with
yur actions.
so attached, overwhelmed
with feelings for yu.
as yu brush me off
like a nat!?
buggn' the shit out of yu.

but who are yu?.....

the "man" that wants
me changed?
keep my inner being
but
change my outer look
as if im not appealing
to yur
eye.
like i need to be a damn
perfect super model for
yu to be satisfied
yur not comfortable with
my own skin...
but
want to keep me around.....


why?.....

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Congestion

I don't get you..

Nor do i understand.

everytime I get close

you pull back.

As soon as i pull back

you creep your way over.

Do i still care.

yes.

Do you cross my mind.

yes.

can i help it

no.

you constantly do as you please..

like im change in your pocket, you keep in case..

you have nothing left.

The significance i mean to you

is slim to....none.

so why i still hurt is ridiculous.

emotionless feelings

that i cant get rid of

because of what??..

me trusting you..

by letting myself get to deep to you.

now i drown myself with

dry tears

that i soon forget about throughout the day

but undesired thoughts as i lay

on a damped pillow

at night


what do you want from me.....





-just something to put on here til my blogging starts-