Friday, November 25, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
We have secrets only the walls can share.
Keeping them alive within their truth
Soft kisses, and warm touches
Countless mornings, when the sun awoke us to each other
Holding breaths just to be relieved
by seeing the reflection of your eyes looking at mine.
Moments captured in memories only the walls can conceal
Intimate talks and soft laughs beneath the sheets.
My lips never going dry from the warm moister of your breath
Pictures fill walls of desire
Never having absence of compassion.
We all have a weakness of being in complete serenity of love
Being in love was like overwhelming happiness
In empty spaces that I did not know I had In my heart
These walls knew it all.
They have witness silent screams and damp pillows
Seen a soulless body lie waiting for depleted love
Tears that cleanse the wounds on my body.
Washing away my pain, but drowning in sorrow.
Hearts begin to beat slowly as time slipped away.
Agony inside my heart .
Not being able to breathe because he was my air.
Love becoming sex without meaning.
Lying there helpless , questioning how it got to this point.
How all the deceit could catch up so fast.
These lies that I claimed I had forgiven.
But forgiveness doesn’t mean the pain doesn’t go away.
Having her lips imprinted on your collar
To remind me that my love was lost.
Which you began to feel my pain the same.
Never intentionally meaning to hurt you.
Asking only for a chance to bring back the love.
I guess one chance was asking to much from you my dear.
Beginning the new year with melancholy writings.
Never knowing the beginning was the end.
Leaving her scent in the home which we had created.
Losing faith because of your one heartbreak.
I never stopped loving .
My walls are my alibi that nothing ever changed.
The pictures remained on my walls invisible to anyone else
These walls can tell more stories than I can in one lifetime.
As if the scarlet letter attach to me wasn’t enough evidence
My secrets have been written on these walls.
Never leaving this room.
my walls have written :
we miss the sweet smell of your scent,
the morning laughs and compassionate nights.
Missing the music surrounding the love confided in this room.
Cold nights greeting you with warm mornings.
I could read the writings of these walls forever.
Reminisce the pictures they withhold.
I could put myself through misery
waiting for my walls to give me the answers.
Writing about our yesterdays waiting for tomorrow to happen.
I could never leave these walls because they have comforted me
In which my soul cannot let go
These walls have changed history
Leaving behind a declaration of our devotion.
Remembering our past so its not condemned to repeat
Swearing to secrecy the writings on these walls
Are like the ink on my body telling stories
Of the pain when it happened,
But that pain only last for so long before the body is imbedded in ink.
Reading the scripture of the walls the stories will remain the same
My walls will always manuscript your name.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
This is becoming redundant.
Walking around like some kind of god.
Trying to figure out the world’s philosophy
You know nothing without knowledge
One day you will learn when the salt hits
And your eyes begin to burn.
Thanking me for everything when your actions
Show me no credit for my hard work.
So yet I have failed, in accomplishing any mission.
Trying to find different ways to make you better
In this world that you live in.
Maybe I should of invested in glass
And your time may not pass so easily
When looking in the reflection of your own filth
This mess you created
no one can see it Because they think that you’ve made it.
But you have Your picture locked away behind a bolted door
Hiding it from the world so they cannot see the damage
To this frame,
all they see is youth a price you pay in vain.
Ain't it a shame how so many pictures can tell so many lies
Never needed a picture because you were living in a painting.
Always wanted to freeze time when time was in the frame.
Now all you freeze is pain.
And you wonder why it’s not the same.
Began to sink in this ocean of lies,
Great swimmer but could only trend water for so long.
Started to drown in this wave you call life.
Going up and down up and down
How do you expect to survive?
These waves causing massive destruction
Poor Japan, they were left with nothing.
Being under water you lose all senses.
Doesn’t seem worth it
Thank god I finally made it out of this ocean
Got sea sick from this wave of emotion.
Now I can finally breathe
Standing on land that was created for me.
Because the ground also moves
Just hard to see when you don’t look at your feet.
I lied. Saying I didn’t know if I could make it
Saw my options and finally weighed it.
My scars remain permanent
Never forgetting the pain
Of her name edged on your lips in vain
With my soul wounded my smile still remains the same
Won’t play the victim ill take my part
Wednesdays are sad days at the same ol park.
Understand my silence.
Because this is becoming so timeless.
Think this is the story synopsis
Trust me I haven’t even began to write it.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The pain that I feel is indescribable
Life time friendships ruined in a matter of a night
I don’t even know if I am strong enough for this fight
This agony of my life falling apart in the palms of my hands
Once again by a man.
But not just anyone. My other half
My heart, my soul
I guess years of dedication are no longer symbolistic
My life at arm’s reach but not even being able to hold on
How many tears do I need to cry?
To prove my loyalty
I believe my scars have left enough symbolic memories of my life.
I’m beginning to lose who I am
Questioning if god still loves me and if love is there why he has allowed hell into my life
This no longer has anything to do with my pride..
Because pride makes the heart hard and from the womb my hearts always been soft.
Can’t change who I am for the comfort of your pleasure.
Try playing the victim because you have begun to murder your own heart.
Taking down walls that should of never been built.
My hands begin to bleed trying to climb these walls.
Can’t hide behind my smiles and pretend that I still don’t bleed.
Your mark is so deep that I no longer no where to begin to cleanse this wound.
You have taken everything that I have created and let her in. ‘
Prancing around like some kind of goddess as she rests her head where
My scent use to lie. Doing all the things that we planned with her
But really lying to yourself wishing her. Was me
Do I still haunt you in your sleep because you have stayed in my dreams
I try to hide behind my laughs and smiles like everything is ok.
When all I have are ache’s from silent screams, damped pillows from these endless dreams.
I still feel your hands across my body as I lay at night
And the sensational feeling of you rubbing your fingers through my hair to help me sleep at night.
Well I may have not slept so well but I did sleep
My eyes are burning from watching every sunrise to sunset
Wondering when I will ever sleep again.
I have destroyed everything that reminds me of my pain
But the memories still know their way back home.
My eyes begin to chase stars hoping that fairy tales still can come true.
But how can there be a fairy tale without you?
I was not perfect but I have served my sentence
No longer guilty because I have proven my innocence.
My words have become the bars and you have been locked inside of me
Trying to get the strength to find the key and set you free.
If I could go back. Back to the days when love didn’t hurt so much
When crying only came from laughing
When I love you made your heart sink.
Because that was love. Our love.
And if I close my eyes I can still see you and me
Even through all the pain and suffering
I still stand strong waiting for you to take me by your side
For you to protect my pride, show me loyalty.
Because there’s no real you without me.
one day you will begin too see.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
You have become my enemy.
Where we stand at battle lines
Drawing out our weapons.
Air has stopped filling my lungs
for now I am empty.
The heat from the line of words
is becoming to heavy
I no longer have any words to
Now my notebook reeks of our blood
Stains that cannot be washed
Fighting for justice from being Humilulated in front of friends.
Friends that now stand behind my enemy lines.
Forming your army filled with
lies and promises that were broken.
You forgot all our words ever spoken.
Now I am a foreigner to you
a stranger you no longer recognize
because you have learned to hide behind your lies and now
it’s the loyalty in which you
Ive taken the letters and
shredded them into paper like
pieces and burn them straight to hell.
And I’m a little bit “crazy” in your words if you can’t tell
But in my words it’s not called crazy it’s called love…
Or being unloved.
I am done
Found me a new weapon so I put away my gun
If it’s victory you search for then you have won.
Flight is freedom
But my wings have not left the ground
This war has cause me to be mentally bound.
I now have new battle wounds to show that this fight was real
It’s not just my heart that needs to be healed
I have friends that always question my motive
Wondering why I never spoke out. And only wrote it
I should of known I was wrong singing my friends the same sad old song
I never took the time to listen
Because you were all in my ear saying it was none of their business
Now I have all these photographic memories
Thanking god if finally hit me.
Digging up all these deep rooted issues
Looking in my mirror screaming “I finally missed you”
You might have an idea but you don’t know what the fuck I’ve been through.