Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
so my sister finally had her baby!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
I have walked alone, seeking answers
I have lived isolated, chasing dreams
I have tried to prove my worth
To those who are worthless judges.
I have cried my pain, in silent screams.
I have stumbled alone, through tunnels of agony.
But no more!...
I rest my feet in the sole of my shoe.
I walk with the little girl, I use to be.
I live to fulfill my dreams.
I have the knowledge of myself worth.
& have tattooed my pain, throughout my body.
In remembrance of what brought me to this life.
This life… that has yet to begun.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Kissed my lips as we said goodbye.
Tears lavished my eyes aware I would see yu again
Gazing at yur lips as they expressed the words I’ve been yearning to hear.
I-I would never hurt you like the rest.
L –Lies are not tattooed on my lips.
O-Offering you a shoulder to cry on.
V-Victoriously showing I’m like no other “man”
E-Engaged in my feelings for yu.
Y-You cant see how I really am.
O-Overcoming the game for you.
U-Uniquely strategizing how not to break your heart.
A Delivered Letter contradicted all these words you pronounced.
Made me realize..
The Reality of Unspoken words.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The bruises, the scraps that came from my fingertips.
Created this masterpiece.
All my wants and desires.
My hopes and my dreams.
Dripped in ink upon my white sheets.
This letter contained everything
That my tongue would not let me untie.
A vivid picture; more like a painting
Of how the inside of my heart looks.
Da Vinci himself could not paint a more elaborate picture.
Einstein could not come up with a superior concept than I
To explain to thee in words.
I carefully placed my letter in a bottle
And let the edges of my feet touch the tip of the shore.
Debating whether I should risk the journey
And let my bleeding fingertips be set out in this ocean.
As my emotions weaved through the waves
I can only hope my heart reaches its destination.
See… I wrote yu this letter
And it was sent out to sea
Somethings locked, and I hope yu have the key.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
I was weak.
Why I let yu get so close
When I maintained yu at a distance.
Not listening to myself
Gets me to where im at.
Starting as a emotionless attraction
With unattached words.
Yu anger me with yur pride
But yet I seem to never stay mad.
Yu have become my forbidden fruit
The one im not suppose to touch.
But yet im a woman.
With the weakness of eve within me.
Disappointed by truth my apple will rust,
Not knowing if my lust will overwhelm me.
But lust has hurt me before
The kind that has changed a life.
At times I seem to care so much
That I stop caring at all.
I try to keep my mind open to love yu
But my heart is secretly prepared to let yu go.
A constant breakdown in my mind
Of yur unfair, my selfish, way of thinking
Then I stop…
I wont cry.
It makes me weak.
But the feeling makes me write.
Write stupid poetry about love and hate.
Yur getting me like this..
Yur giving me emotions
Im opening up again.
Damn. Im a poet
Friday, May 29, 2009
that i am unacquainted with
seems to overwhelm me with confusion.
my mind is twisted, concluded that
my heart is no longer embedded underneath my ribs.
no heart, that could pump blood through my veins
which would leave me..breathless.
as my sun-kissed cheeks rose
at the aspiration of you relieving my pain.
my frame stiffens
and my face is flushed.
as i forgot how it felt to be admired.
so i thank you.
because happiness is all i desired.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
met up with some pretty cool people..made new friends sooo for the most part the weekend was
Monday, May 4, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Allowing YOU back into MY Life.
But.. Somehow through all
The love makin’ with… the I love yu’s
And.. let’s not forget ..
Yu still manage to fuck up.
And yu wondered.. why my guard was up?
Realizing but not acknowledging
That decisions should be made for me
And not blurred by the vision of my heart.
so for both our sake.
lets hope our futures aren’t at stake.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
i really needed a good laugh and this did it!
so i recommend this movie to anyone that is not so happy to see this movie!
i guarantee you that you WILL have a better night.
hahah i love my extras in this blog.
welp long day goodnight blogger world=)
all i have to say is...
i love you man.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Sooo me and tiana went shopping deff got some dooppee ishh
yahhh soo tiana just bought those glasses so she thought she was cool...
soooo after a long day at the malll
me and tiana were starving we deff wanted food (of course we did!)
called up the roomie jenny and went to
jenny had rice and raw oysters!
sooooo thats a little update on a happier note lol... will be updating more sorryyy bloggerr worldd
p.s. yahh i love all of my fav twitters=)ashheellyy mrs, outrageous and SIN duhhh lmao
Saturday, March 14, 2009
You, for whoever, you maybe
The one you have lost sight to see,
In your disguise, covered with societies mockery
Of how you should portray your imagery.
You could dominate you own opinion
And persuade others to have confidence as a male,
Instead surrounded by those who careless if you fail.
When you could lead
Only to be in the shadows
Of those who wish they could be,
As great as you,
So they could succeed.
Persuaded that life is about
Money, Cars, and Hoes,
…Hoes, that are merely
Girls that no nothing about life
Back boneless women
That are accustom to sleepless nights
But GOD knows
I cant condemn
That they idolize you, more than him.
Have you men lost the meaning of love?
Is love to you just sex misspelled..
If so then your heart shall never prevail.
Yes; your hungry for success
But now you dine at a table of deceit
Blinded by the vision for which
the one you love is left with impressions of your feet.
Its reality that you fear
But, I know its there
Because ive seen a tear
Come from a heart that you
Never even knew was there.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
and are not meant to be
it is not our responsibility to raise you into respectful beings
you have been weaned from the breast of a woman for years
yet you come to us
wounded and half filled with promises you can only keep half the time
trying to suckle our sense of self dry
we’ve become much to accustomed to sleepless nights and damp pillows
have become accustomed to waiting for our empty beds
to be weighed down with the bodies of men heavy with the scent
and the hands of other women
mornings with swollen puffy eyes are becoming routine
and we simply wanting to be loved
simply wanting to be able to love ourselves unconditionally
simply wanting to be held and feel safe
simply wanting the truth of whether you can really love us or not
play Hester Prynn
wear scarlet letters on our chests
Cheating ourselves out of what we truly deserve
willing to settle for less
willing to act like a little less than a goddesses
willing to sleep with the enemy
men too scared to stop acting like boys
thinking we can love away their scars
so we take the lashes of the insecurities they pour on us
and lick our wounds in quiet mourning for the little girls we lose by the minute
fast fading memories of playing hopscotch
and skippin’ rope
we now play freeze tag with each other’s hearts
play hide and seek with our love
if we just don’t breathe maybe we won’t get caught
up in the spider’s web we weave while waiting for what we give away to be returned
you said you had a photographic memory
but apparently you forgot that honesty
begins by being real with yourself
and the ones you claim you love
should have never wasted my time
and just acted like the man you claimed and told the world you were
made a production of setting my folks at ease with tales of how you’d do all it ever took to never break my heart
I guess you thought you were talking to a roomful of the deaf and blind
figured they didn’t hear you
coz I never saw it coming
but the truth cannot be hidden
what’s clouded in darkness will always come to light my love
you shoulda known that
claiming you saw my light so clearly and brightly
so I left
chasing paper trails of promises you’d already set on fire
left with nothing but the ashes of who you’d written that you were
and singed fingers from trying to grasp the impossible
and the only thing I’ve really lost
are lukewarm kisses
that for too long I kept trying to tune the beat of my heart, a few lies, and stories
about honesty and truth
I guess shit happens
I just wish it wasn’t me
and I guess
it’s so much better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all
I know that’s some easy shit to say
but I’m still gonna try to live by it
I’m still gonna try to put my faith to rest in it
I will sleep on dry pillows now in a bed big enough to love myself in
I will awake these coming mornings with my eyes dry and shining
full of the knowledge I am priceless and worth nothing but honesty
I will remove the scarlet letter from my chest and hold the hand of the little girl I used to be
and say I’m sorry to her
I’m sorry for cheating you out of the joy you have always deserved
and I will wait
for a man
to come along that can give me the truth of how much he can really love me
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
This is how i have felt for the last week.
and i have writers block
i have so much to write about it won’t come out.
i hate all of them;
and yu enjoy that factor of it.
yepp bloggers yu caught me on a emotional night.
i just needed to vent a lil and say that ill be TRYING to write soon.
" j'espère qu'ils blessent aussi le mauvais comme le fais je !"
Monday, February 16, 2009
He will say he loves me
Can’t live without me
Just wants to hold me.
He will say he didn’t mean to weaken me
That it should have never happened
And that he is sorry….
He will make me cry because;
He doesn’t know how to handle my love.
Wipe away my tears
And tell me everything’s ok.
He will make me feel protected
Convince me I’m his only aspiration.
He will show his dedication
He will hear me but will not listen.
Sit there with a vacant stare
question why he keeps doing wrong.
He will wonder if
“this is it”
“The last straw”
How much more can she endure?
He will sit there with
that can see right through me.
He will read my mind
And know what I am thinking
“That I love him”
He will grab my hands
And know my love is too profound
But; knows my arrogance will not
Leave these words unspoken.
He knows my heart is broken.
Yet; he smiles knowing that
My heart will mend.
Just like every weekend..
I forgave him
“I am more than what you bargained for, nothing less than real”—Drake
Sunday, February 15, 2009
sooo we went to jilly's and saw mike jonees...
we were super close to him.
soo in the middle of mike jones rapping---"im in love with a stripper" a big fight broke out with some girl and a white girl that may have actually been a stripper....
anywhooo.. we danced took pics chilled..
had to call a girl out for stepping out of line but other than that pretty good jillys night......
me and tiana at jilly's chilling.----why did we get vip and didnt get a pic with mike jones lol lame...
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
after a horrible wednesday of going to 4 tattoo shops
1st one closed.
2nd one only one tat artist did finger tats & he wasnt working
3rd one closed in 15 mins.
in the middle of this driving wasting gas we manage to
get the gas light on; get lost; and pick up markk... '
(he was so annoyed lmao)
duuhhhh it was closseedd... hahahah
(it really wasnt funny at the time.)
so we drove around for a hour.
listen to (i like big butts)----o my god.... Beckyyy look at her butt....
yahhh thats how me and tiana rolled on wednesday night.
\camyyoooo rolled with us...
(with her glass cup juice)hahha
n we got tatted.
the tattoo artist chickk was so ..h.mmmm out there... pretty much dope..
here are the horrible pics that we tried to take with my phone cuz my camara dieedd...
wah yu think bloggers?
heard yu got tattoo's on yur knees (dark cirles) dooopppppeeee............
eeww.. nn yur already dirty darkkkk
(insider w/ reckless)
Monday, February 2, 2009
To yu we all appear identical
whats the divergence from one to another
when all satisfy yur needs.
but yet yu prefer me.
to prepare for yur satisfaction
yu tap to get yur attention.
yur lips wrapped around me
as if im yur only yearning
yur body is craving and im there
The light, fire that embraces the passion we have for each other
the energy that intertwines us is
But yu can only suck the existence out of me.
The energy increases.
Meanwhile i decrease.
But it makes yu feel so superior to use me up.
so good that yur willing
To put me out at anytime.
Just to save me for later.
Once yu have had adequate time with me
in yur system.
Yu put me out as if im some off brand that yur not use to.
yu dont want to throw me out
Because there is more of me left
For yu to utilize later
Maybe yu will stick me
Behind yur ear?
I could get to comfortable up in yur ear all day
something yu dont need to
not in yur pocket.
I'll be smothered and compressed with very slight room to breath
so what do yu do?
so that ill last long enough to satisfy yu.
and keep yu accompany.
The box, the pack
Throw me in with the rest
As if i'm not unique.
Back in i go.
This time I'm different
Now I'm dull, belittled, and burnt.
something THEY have not yet encountered.
I sit in Mystification.
why is it we fall in love?